幽默又有深度的英语演讲稿（共12篇）由网友“pdw1987”投稿提供，以下是小编为大家汇总后的幽默又有深度的英语演讲稿，希望对大家有所帮助。
篇1：幽默又有哲理的演讲稿
你们看窗外阳光多好，知道为什么吗?因为今天我演讲。
我先介绍一个我自己吧，我叫张学友，张是弓加一个长字，学是好好学习的习字，友呢是张学友的友，性别为男。出生年月作为隐私不便透露。我很高兴能站在这里，首先请允许我代表全国人民向在家问声好。能站在这里我也鼓了很大的勇气，就像是对一个单恋已久的女孩去表白一样，心里没底啊。我竟选的是班长，同学们会对我信任吗。
还有一点是你有没有这个能力去担当班长一职呢。这对你们来说都是个有待解决的问题。但我可以很负责任地告诉大家，我有这个信心也有这个能力做好班长所应做的每一件事，我很不想说我以前担任过什么，这都是一个过去，我面对的是我的新同学，新朋友我想这会是个全新的开始，你们也看到我理了个头，而且理得很短，因为我想从头开始。我也不想谈我当了班长如何如何，当上跟没当是两回事，况现在至少还不是，大谈特谈是很虚的东西，说跟做是两回事，我怕我说得到而做不得，一切得看平时表现吧，
我这个人也没什么特点，就是喜欢有事没事摆个黄飞鸿似的笑，搞个蒙娜丽莎似的微笑.都是自以为很酷而已，如果了大家的风头不要介意啊，如来佛主，天地观音我可没那心啊.
不管大家对信任与否都得投我一票，如果你不信任我投我一票以示你对我不不信任。最后再次说声谢谢大家!
3分钟幽默励志演讲稿：做一个文明之人
尊敬的老师们、同学们：
早上好!今天我讲话的题目是《做一个文明之人》。
记得有人说过：“人，一撇一捺，写起来容易做起来难。我们要经常性地思考，我在做什么，我做得怎样，我要成为怎样的人。”做怎样的人，一百个人会有一百种答案，但在每一个答案的背后都有一个基点，那就是做人首先要做一个文明的人。
文明是什么?文明是路上相遇时的微笑，是同学有难时的热情帮助，是平时与人相处时的亲切，是见到师长时的问早问好，是不小心撞到对方时的一声 “对不起”，是自觉将垃圾放入垃圾箱的举动，是看到有人随地吐痰时的主动制止……文明是一种品质，文明是一种修养，文明是一种受人尊敬并被大家广泛推崇的行为。
做文明之人，就要会用文明语，做文明事。再简单地讲就是要懂礼貌，明事理。中国素有“礼仪之邦”之称，礼貌待人是中华民族的传统美德。生活在幸福时代的我们，如果不能继承和发扬这种优良传统，就不能真正做一个快乐的人。 “良言入耳三冬暖，恶语伤人六月寒”，这句俗话大家要记住。文明礼貌是最容易做到的事，同时也是生活里最重要的事，它比最高的智慧、比一切的学问都重要。礼貌经常可以替代最珍贵的感情。
同学们，让我们在国旗下共同祝愿，祝愿我们的生活处处开满文明之花!祝愿我们自己一步步地迈向文明!
做文明之人，永远的呼唤!一生的追求!
篇2：三分钟幽默又有意义的演讲稿
大家好，今天我演讲的题目就是我们前面铁的两个字——团结!
“团结就是力量!”这句歌词好啊，它激励着我们做任何事情都要团结一致，勇往直前，而不是只靠某一个人的力量。俗话说，一个巴掌拍不响，就是因为这个“巴掌”没有团结的动力，没有去团结另一个巴掌。就好像我们人一样，独自一个人不团结别人得话，他的贡献也就微乎其微。所以我们不管在集体中还是在生活中，都要团结，因为团结的力量比铁还要硬，比钢还要强!
现在我们喊得最响亮的一句口号就是：oneworld,onedream!同一个世界，同一个梦想。如果我们不团结，哪来的同一个世界，更何谈同一个梦想......
同心山成玉，协力土变金!成功需要克难攻坚的精神，更加需要团结协作的合力!只有懂得团结的人，才能明白团结对自己，对别人，对整个集体的意义。才会把团结当作自己的一份责任。团结，团结，越团越结!那就让我们更加团结，永远团结，让我们永远去散发这彩虹斑耀眼而美丽的七彩之光!!!
面对高考有这样两种极端的人：一种人总是说，唉，中国什么时候能打仗。我问他说为什么希望中国打仗，他说一打仗就不用再高考了;另一种人总是在说，唉，为什么明天不高考?虽然大多数人面对高考时不至于这样极端，但是我们不可否认的是，我们对待高考的态度已经进入一种误区。
如果我现在问你们：我们的学习是为了什么?或许大多数同学会回答说为了高考，为了上一个好大学。那么请问，再然后呢?为了买上好房子，买上好车抑或是过上舒适安逸的生活?不，这些都只是高考的目的，而不是我们应有的目标。许多考生习惯于把目的错误的当成目标，正如中国的运动员，在比赛时往往压力很大，因为他们把夺得金牌这个目的当做自己的目标，拿到金牌的运动员有压力，总是在想下一次拿不到金牌怎么办?拿不到金牌的运动员压力就更大了：唉，奋斗了这么多年连块铁牌都没有。在已经结束的北京奥运会上，刘翔因伤退赛，深究其原因，媒体有着不可推卸的责任，他们在刘翔身上倾注了太多的期望，带给刘翔太大的压力，所以说做运动员很累，做中国的运动员更累。作为一名运动员，无法在运动中体会快乐，是多么可悲的一件事，运动是为了什么?是强身健体，是一种娱乐，那么我们高考呢?作为学生，我们无法从高考本身中找到快乐，这难道不也是一件很可悲的事么?所以今天我想要告诉大家应该怎样去面对高考。
一、学会享受过程
我希望你们能够记住：我们的奋斗决不仅仅是为了高考，高考只不过是一种手段，我们可以借助高考这个跳板来实现我们的理想。也许有人会问，不重视高考又怎么能在高考中取得好成绩?我没有不让你重视高考，我只是想让你们知道：固然高考很重要，但是你们应该学会享受这个过程，而不应该将其视为洪水猛兽。我现在来问大家，如果去布达拉宫，你是选择步行还是坐飞机?或许你们觉得这个问题太好笑，那么我来讲一个鹰和蜗牛的故事：鹰和蜗牛站在金字塔顶，他们达到了同样的高度，但鹰是一下子飞上去的，很快很容易，它觉得平常。而蜗牛是一步步爬上去的，很艰难，但它很快乐，很珍惜顶部的风景和感觉。学会享受高考这个过程，会给你的高三生活增添很多乐趣;学会享受人生这个过程，你会找到生命的广度和深度。
二、拥有无比坚定的信念
我无数次的听到有人问，高考成功有没有秘诀?要我说高考成功的秘诀在于你有没有无比坚定的信念!那么何为信念?在一个久旱无雨的小山村里，村长带着村民去寺庙里求雨，希望老天爷发一下慈悲，下点雨。他们每天都去求雨，求了整整一个星期，老天爷终于动怒了：“你们这帮无赖之徒，为什么一点儿诚意都没有?”村民们很惊讶的说：“我们每天求雨怎么还没有诚意?我们都求了整整一个星期了!”老天爷说：“你们真的相信会下雨吗?”“相信!”老天爷愤怒的说：“既然相信，那出门之前为什么不带雨伞呢?既然你们相信今天会下暴雨，那么出门就应该带雨伞嘛!你们出门不带雨伞，是因为你们潜意识里根本不相信今天会下雨!”有位同学斗志昂扬的说：我要高考成功!然后接着有人问他，你真的会成功么?
那位同学马上答道：我也不知道哎……各位同学，你们认为这叫信念吗?所谓真正的信念，只有你们自己才能定义。我想大家应该都知道脑白金这种保健品吧，那我再问，你们有没有听说过脑黄金?而这两种保健品均出自一人之手，那就是巨人网络董事长史玉柱。1995年，史玉柱一手创办的巨人集团走向顶峰，推出12种保健品，广告投资1个亿，其中一种保健品就是脑黄金，而史玉柱也被福布斯列为内地富豪第八位。，由于财务危机和管理不善等因素，巨人集团迅速盛极而衰，史玉柱也因此负债2亿，由首富变为首负，但也就是史玉柱，在面对负债2亿时还能避免崩溃。
他说当感觉到自己无力回天时，就拥有了这样一个信念：我欠的钱我一定会还!就是这样一个信念支撑着他东山再起，仅用了四年的时间，在底还完了所有的欠款，并再一次打入保健品市场，推出了现在妇孺皆知的脑白金。，史玉柱旗下的巨人网络集团成功登陆美国纽约证券交易所，总市值达到 42亿美元，融资额为10。45亿美元，成为在美国发行最大的中国民营企业，史玉柱的身价超过500亿，再次成为“首富”。这是什么?这就是信念的力量，命运让他从首富变为首负，信念让他再从首负回到首富。欠下2亿的巨额债款都能走出低谷，重铸辉煌，更何况是我们面对小小的高考，因此你们应该自己想明白，你们到底是想成功还是一定要成功!下定决心成功的人内心里一定要有无比坚定的信念，因为信念可以激发你无限的潜能。
三、确立自己的目标
古人云：人贵有志，当志存高远。这不是一句简单的口号，请大家想一下，当高考结束，面对高考志愿表时，有多少人能斩钉截铁的说：我就要报这个专业，我一直在为着这个目标而奋斗!恐怕有相当数量的同学面对众多的专业选择思前想后，犹豫不决。出现这种情况的原因就是大多数学生的目光只是盯在高考本身上，而没有想过高考背后深层的东西。作为年轻人，一辈子的目标一定要定得高远，正所谓你想要什么，你才会成为什么。年轻人一定要相信梦想，正如相信在黑暗中仍然能看见北极星一样。我们在拥有高远目标的同时也应该有阶段性的目标，但每个阶段的目标要现实，就要永远比周围人做得好一点。目标与能力成正比，目标要一点点积累，每一天、每一阶段的目标实现了，最后成就的就是远大的目标。
记着，无论遭遇多么困难的处境，也不要放弃自己的目标，因为方法总比困难多，即使是在孤立无援的境地，也不要放弃希望!新东方总裁俞敏洪曾这样说道：每一条河流都有自己不同的生命曲线，但每一条河都有自己的梦想，那就是奔向大海，长江、黄河都奔向了大海，但方式不一样：长江劈山开路，黄河迂回曲折，但最终都汇入了大海，实现了自己的梦想，这就是水的精神。我们的生命，有时候会是泥沙，你可能就像泥沙一样慢慢的沉淀下去了，一旦你沉淀下去了，也许你不用再为了前进而继续努力了，但是你永远见不到阳光了，所以我建议大家，不管你现在的生命是怎么样的，一定要有水的精神，像水一样不断积蓄自己的力量，不断的冲破障碍，当你发现时机不到的时候，就把自己的厚度给积累起来，当有一天时机来临的时候，你就能够奔腾入海，成就自己的生命。
篇3：三分钟幽默又有意义的演讲稿
作为新一代的我们理想是丰满的，我们对未来充满激情，但是我们却不得不承认，现实是骨感的!因为青春不仅仅需要激情，同时也需要一颗求实进取的心!
每一个人都有自己的梦想，然而梦想总是离现实相隔万里。有些人梦想成为教书育人的人民教师，有些人梦想成为救死扶伤的白衣天使，有的人梦想成为保家卫国的人民子弟兵，有的人梦想成为人类社会发展的工程师……不管是教师也好，医生、战士还是工程师，只要对国家、对社会奉献了自己的价值，他们都有同一个美丽的名字，叫做“人类绿色灵魂工程师”
青春是我们现在所拥有的最宝贵的财富，我们的生活应该充满激情!
青春，充满了梦想，然而我们的生活中有许许多多的无奈，
当我们经历了越来越多的坎坷，我们是否会对未来产生一丝迷茫，
我相信答案是肯定的!但是这并不是我们可以失败的理由，也绝不是我们就此
沉沦的原因，青春应该充满朝气，记得奥斯特洛夫斯基的<钢铁是怎样炼成的>中
有这么一段话:生活赋予我们一种巨大的和无限高贵的礼品,这就是青春:充满着力量,充满着期待,充满着求知和斗争的志向,充满着希望和信心的青春!“的确如此,青，是绿色，是生命的颜色，春，是季节，是成长的季节，青春是人生最美好的季节,青春是人生最铿锵的篇章,青春是摧枯拉朽的豪情,青春是旭日东升力量,青春的我们意气风发,青春的我们敢为人先,青春的我们斗志昂扬!
篇4：幽默英语演讲稿
幽默英语演讲稿
Love Your Mother爱你的母亲
Why are you crying, a young boy asked his Mom?
你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈.
”Because I'm a woman,“ she told him.
因为我是女人,她告诉他.
”I don't understand,“ he said.
我不明白.他回答
His Mom just hugged him and said,
”And you never will, but that's O.K.“.......
妈妈拥抱了他说,”你永远也不会明白,但没关系...“
Later the little boy asked his father,
”Why does Mom seem to cry for no reason?“.
后来小男孩问他的父亲”妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣?“
”All women cry for no reason,“ was all his Dad could say......
”所有的女人都会常常没有原因地哭泣“,这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的...
The little boy grew up and became a man,
still wondering why women cry.
等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候,
他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭.
Finally he put in a call to God and when God got back to him, he asked ”God, why do women cry so easily?“
最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问”上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣?“
GOD answered......
上帝回答:
”When I made woman,
I decided she had to be special.
I made her shoulders
strong enough to carry
the weight of the world, yet,
made her arms gentle enough to give comfort...
“当我创造女人的时候,
我决定把她造的很特别,
我让她的双肩强壮的足以能够承担整个世界,但是,
却让她的双臂温柔的足够去安慰他人...
I gave her the inner strength
to endure childbirth
and the rejection
that many times will come
even from her own children.
我给她内在的力量去忍受生产的.剧痛,
也让她有勇气承受无数的伤害,
甚至这些伤害有时会来自于自己的孩子...
I gave her a hardness
that allows her
to keep going and take care
of her family and friends,
even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without
complaining....
我给她顽强,让她能够不断地前进,
并且照顾自己的家人和朋友,
甚至当每个人都放弃的时候,
她却能够坚强地在疾病和劳累之时毫无怨言...
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. Even when her child has hurt her badly....
She has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager's anxieties and fears....
我给她内心的敏感,让她在任何环境下都深爱着自己的孩子.甚至在他们深深伤害她的时候．．．
她用那特别的力量，让年幼孩子的在受伤的时候感到安慰，也能够让年轻的子女消除紧张与恐惧．．．
I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults
and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....
我给她力量关心她的丈夫，尽管他会犯错．我用男人的肋骨创造了女人，使女人可以保护男人的心脏．．．
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....
我给她智慧，让她知道一个好丈夫永远不会伤害他的妻子，但有时候会试炼她坚定的永远跟随自己丈夫的能力与决心．
For all of this hard work,
I also gave her a tear to shed.
It is hers to use
whenever needed and
it is her only weakness....
When you see her cry,
tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though
she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.
因为这些种种的困难，
我也同样赐她流下眼泪，
这是当她在需要时可以使用的，
这是她唯一的软弱之处．．．
当你看到她哭泣的时候，
告诉她你有多么地爱她，
告诉她她为所有人所做的一切，
即使这样她可能还是会哭泣，
但你会使她的心里得到安慰．
She is special!
Please send this to women you know, and those with mothers,
sisters, and special women in their lives.
她是独特的！
请把这个信息传递给你认识的女人， 有母亲，姐妹和特别的女性在他们生命里的人．
But, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thing a woman is.
Each day is a mountain that must be climbed; with courage each step gets easier.
但是，也把这个信息传递给男人，因此他们会明白女人是多么奇妙的被造物．
每一天，生活中都会有必须爬的山，但是勇气会使每一步都更轻松．
Love your Mother Always
永远爱你的母亲，
and keep her Smiling
并且使她微笑常在
篇5：幽默英语演讲稿
Good evening ,Ladies and Gentlemen:
We've all been taught that we should help people. It is the right thing to do and will make us popular with others. It may even win us favors in return. However, we must be realistic. We can't say yes to every request. If we did, we would fail or go crazy for sure. Sometimes we simply don't have the time to help. In this case, we must know how to say no politely.
When we need to say no, here is one method we can try. First, we should tell the truth. If we really can't do something, we should just say so. Second, we should remember to refuse requests politely. We must communicate clearly, but must also be sincere and sympathetic. A true friend will understand. Finally, we must not feel guilty about saying no. Sometimes refusing others is the right thing to do. It can save ourselves, and them, a lot of trouble. In short, we cannot please everyone all the time. Refusing favors is a part of life.
Thank you!
晚上好,女士们,先生们:
我们都被教导说,我们应该要帮助别人。这是应该做的事,而且这样做会使我们受人欢迎。它甚至会为我们赢得一些回报。但是,我们必须要实际一点。我们不能答应每一个要求。如果我们这么做,我们就一定会失败或发疯。有时候我们确实没有时间去帮忙。既然如此,我们就必须知道如何有礼貌地说不。
当我们需要说不的时候,有个办法我们可以试试。首先,我们应该要说实话。假如我们真的办不到某件事,我们就应该说不。第二,我们应该记得要客气地拒绝对方的要求。我们必须清楚地表达,但态度也必须真诚并且表示同情。一个真正的朋友会谅解的。最后,我们不必为了说不而觉得有罪恶感。有时候拒绝别人才是我们应该做的事。它可以替我们自己和别人,都省下许多麻烦。总而言之,我们无法一直取悦每个人。拒绝请求是人生的一部分。
谢谢大家!
篇6：幽默英语演讲稿
Good evening ,Ladies and Gentlemen:
Thank you very much for choosing to come in such a cold night.Today my topic is about choice and process.A research shows that a man has to make 73 choices one day.With so many choices one day, people easily get so confused and afraid of making wrong choice that they hesitate and finally miss the true part of life. In my opinion, the following part is of much more importance than the choice. There is no absolute right or wrong choice but wonderful or boring life, which the process makes the difference.
Life is a box of chocolate,you never know what you will get. Forrest Gump made no decision by and for himself but he accomplished great success with his strong will in the process. The process is not the road itself but the attitudes and feelings ,the caution, courage and persistance we have as we encounter new experience and unexpected obstacles. Take myself as an example, I changed my major when I became a postgraduate. After the choice,days have been harsh for me.I cannot understand the new lessons at all. For they are closely related to mathmatics which I learned nothing about before. However wuth the belief that this is the great chance for me to experience new ideas and challenge myself,I persisted. I asked for help from every channel and reorgonized my life. Gradually I could understand some parts and even found maths interesting.Moreover, I learned to act instead of complaining. In retrospect,the choice left no trace in my mind but the happiness and bitterness of the past four months becomes an unforgetable experience in my life.
NO matter what the choice is, enjoy the process. In the process, your potential will be inspired and new discoveries,improvement and progress will come to you. These are the most beautiful sceneries and only on the way can you see it.These make your life colorful.
There is no need and I donnot want to judge whether it right or wrong for me to be here,but I congratulate to myself for I gain and enjoy this fantastic experience. So my dear friends,never worry about your choice and enjoy the process. I am sure you will get something new and intersting tonight after you chose to come here.
Thank you!
晚上好,女士们,先生们:
非常感谢你来选择在这样一个寒冷夜晚.今天我的话题是关于选择和process.A,研究表明,一个人必须作出的选择,如此众多的选择,有一天,人们容易混淆,因此害怕作出错误的选择,他们毫不犹豫地并最终错过了真正的生活的一部分。在我看来,下面的部分是更重要的不是选择。没有绝对的对错选择,但精彩或乏味的生活,这使得该进程的差异。
生活是一盒巧克力,你永远不知道下一步你会得到。阿甘正传作出任何决定,并为自己的成就,但他取得巨大成功与他坚强的`意志的进程。这个过程是不是道路本身,而是态度和感情,谨慎,勇气和毅力,我们作为我们遇到了新的经验和意想不到的障碍。以自己作为一个例子,我改变了我的主要当我成为一个研究生。经过选择,天已经严厉的me.I无法理解新的经验在所有。因为他们是密切相关的数学,我的教训面前只字不提。然而密集的信念,这是很好的机会,我的经验新思想和新的挑战我自己,我依然存在。我要求帮助每一个通道和承认我的生活。渐渐地,我能理解一些地方,甚至发现数学更有趣 ,我学到采取行动而不是抱怨。回想起来,选择没有留下任何痕迹在我的脑海,但幸福和痛苦的过去4个月成为一个难忘的经验,我的生活。
无论选择是,享受这一过程。在这个过程中,您可能会得到启发和新发现,改善和进步将来找你。这些都是最美丽的风景,只有道路上能看到它就能让您的生活多姿多彩
没有必要,我要判断是否正确或错误,我来这里,但我祝贺我自己,因为我增益和享受这美妙的经验。因此,我亲爱的朋友们,永远不会担心您的选择和享受的过程。我相信你会得到一些新的和有趣后,今晚你选择到这里来。
谢谢您!
篇7：幽默英语演讲稿
幽默英语演讲稿范文一：
Good morning teachers and fellow students. Today we would like to introduce a few favorite books to you.
My favorite book is (Italian: Cuore). This is a diary written by an Italian boy Enrico. The diary is about his life and study. It included various touching stories that happened around Enrico, the mottos taught by his parents, as well as the wonderful ten ”monthly“ stories told by his teacher during the class. Every word in the chapter describes the word ”love“. From patriotism to friendship, and to the love between parents and child -- really touching.
This novel taught me how to love, and how to learn from love. I really like this book very much. How about you? What is your favorite book?
My favorite book is . Have you read it before?
Oh, I haven t read this book before. What is it about?
Well, it is a story of a rich girl who maintained her noble character after the bankruptcy of her father. The story is happy ending.
Can you tell us why you love this book so much?
Sure. It is because the story taught us to be brave and to face the challenges and difficulties with courage. I am deeply impressed by the strength and perseverance of the little princess in the story. I have decided to learn from her from now on.
Oh I see, the story sounds very good. I cannot wait to read this book as well.
篇8：幽默英语演讲稿
Love Your Mother
Why are you crying, a young boy asked his Mom?
”Because I'm a woman,“ she told him.
”I don't understand,“ he said.
His Mom just hugged him and said,
”And you never will, but that's O.K.“.......
Later the little boy asked his father,
”Why does Mom seem to cry for no reason?“.
”All women cry for no reason,“ was all his Dad could say......
The little boy grew up and became a man,
still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God and when God got back to him, he asked ”God, why do women cry so easily?“
GOD answered......
”When I made woman,
I decided she had to be special.
I made her shoulders
strong enough to carry
the weight of the world, yet,
made her arms gentle enough to give comfort...
I gave her the inner strength
to endure childbirth
and the rejection
that many times will come
even from her own children.
I gave her a hardness
that allows her
to keep going and take care
of her family and friends,
even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without
complaining....
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. Even when her child has hurt her badly....
She has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager's anxieties and fears....
I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults
and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....
For all of this hard work,
I also gave her a tear to shed.
It is hers to use
whenever needed and
it is her only weakness....
When you see her cry,
tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though
she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.
She is special!
Please send this to women you know, and those with mothers,
sisters, and special women in their lives.
But, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thing a woman is.
Each day is a mountain that must be climbed; with courage each step gets easier.
Love your Mother Always
and keep her Smiling
篇9：高中幽默英语短篇演讲稿
高中幽默英语短篇演讲稿
An Alarm Clock
A young man went to a mountain village for his holiday.One night he stayed at a small hotel near a train station.
Before going to bed,he went to the owner of the hotel and said to the old man,“Excuse me,sir.Will you please wake me up at a quarter to five?I'm going to take the five o'clock train tomorrow morning.”
“Oh,sorry,”the owner said,“I am afraid I can't.I don't get up that early.”
The young man started to go back to his room when he stopped and asked,“Do you have an alarm clock?That would help me.”
“Yes,here it is,young man.”
The young man took the clock happily and thanked the old man.But when he looked at it carefully,there appeared to be something wrong with it.
“Does it ring on time?”he asked the old man.
“Sure!Just shake it when it's time to get up,and it'll ring.”
一只闹钟
一个年轻人到一个山村去度假。那天夜里,他住宿在火车站附近的一个旅馆里。
上床睡之前,他对旅馆老板——一个老头儿说:“对不起,先生,请问您能在五点差一刻叫醒我吗?我明天早晨要乘五点的火车。”
“哦,很抱歉”,旅馆老板说,“恐怕不行,我不可能起那么早。”
年轻人正想回到房间去,又停住了问:“那你有闹钟吗?或许它能帮助我。”
“我有,给你,年轻人。”
年轻人很高兴地拿了闹钟,谢了老头儿。但当他仔细查看了闹钟后,发现似乎有毛病。
“它能准时闹吗?”他问老头儿。
“那当然!时间一到,你摇一摇,他就会响的。”
篇10：幽默的英语演讲稿
good morning teachers and fellow students. today we would like to introduce a few favorite books to you.
my favorite book is (italian: cuore). this is a diary written by an italian boy enrico. the diary is about his life and study. it included various touching stories that happened around enrico, the mottos taught by his parents, as well as the wonderful ten “monthly” stories told by his teacher during the class. every word in the chapter describes the word “love”. from patriotism to friendship, and to the love between parents and child -- really touching.
this novel taught me how to love, and how to learn from love. i really like this book very much. how about you? what is your favorite book?
my favorite book is . have you read it before?
oh, i haven t read this book before. what is it about?
well, it is a story of a rich girl who maintained her noble character after the bankruptcy of her father. the story is happy ending.
can you tell us why you love this book so much?
sure. it is because the story taught us to be brave and to face the challenges and difficulties with courage. i am deeply impressed by the strength and perseverance of the little princess in the story. i have decided to learn from her from now on.
oh i see, the story sounds very good. i cannot wait to read this book as well.
幽默英语演讲稿二：初中幽默英语演讲稿（1235字）matt and his wife lived in the country. matt was very stingy and hated spending money. one day a fair came to the nearby town.
“let’s go to the fair, matt,” his wife said. “we haven’t been anywhere for a long time.”
matt thought about this for a while. he knew he would have to spend money at the fair. at last he said, “all right, but i’m not going to spend much money. we’ll look at things, but we won’t buy anything. ”
they went to the fair and looked at all the things to buy. there were many things matt’s wife wanted to buy, but he would not let her spend any money.
then, in a nearby field, they saw a small airplane.
“fun flights!” the notice said, “ $$ 10 for 10 minutes.
matt had never been in an airplane and he wanted to go on a fun flight. however, he didn’t want to have to pay for his wife, as well.
”i’ve only got $$ 10, “ he told the pilot. ”can my wife come with me for free?“ the pilot wasn’t selling many tickets, so he said, ”i’ll make a bargain with you. if your wife doesn’t scream or shout, she can have a free flight.“
matt agreed, and got into the small airplane with his wife.
the pilot took off and made his airplane do all kinds of things. at one moment it was flying upside down.
when the plane landed, the pilot said, ”0. k. your wife didn’t make a sound. she can have her ride free.“
”thank you,“ matt said. ”it wasn’t easy for her, you know, especially when she fell out.“
幽默英语演讲稿三：幽默英语演讲稿（754字）a helping hand
a man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put his head out the window to check. as he did so a glass eye fell into his hand.
he looked up to see where it came from in time to see a young woman looking down.
”is this yours?“ he asked.
she said, ”yes, could you bring it up?“ and the man agreed.
on arrival she was profuse in her thanks and offered the man a drink. as she was very attractive he agreed. shortly afterwards she said, ”i'm about to have dinner. there's plenty. would you like to join me?“
he readily accepted her offer and both enjoyed a lovely meal. as the evening was drawing to a close the lady said, ”i've had a marvelous evening. would you like to stay the night?“
the man hesitated then said, ”do you act like this with every man you meet?“
”no,“ she replied, ”only those who catch my eye.“
篇11：幽默的英语演讲稿
love your mother
爱你的母亲
why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom?
你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈.
because i”m a woman, she told him.
因为我是女人,她告诉他.
i don“t understand, he said.
我
不明白.他回答
his mom just hugged him and said,
and you never will, but that”s ........
妈妈拥抱了他说,你永远也不会明白,但没关系...
later the little boy asked his father,
why does mom seem to cry for no reason?.
后来小男孩问他的父亲妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣?
all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say......
所有的女人都会常常没有原因地哭泣,这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的...
the little boy grew up and became a man,
still wondering why women cry.
等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候,
他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭.
finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily?
最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣?
god answered......
上帝回答:
when i made woman,
i decided she had to be special.
i made her shoulders
strong enough to carry
the weight of the world, yet,
made her arms gentle enough to give comfort...
当我创造女人的时候,
我决定把她造的很特别,
我让她的双肩强壮的足以能够承担整个世界,但是,
却让她的双臂温柔的足够去安慰他人...
i gave her the inner strength
to endure childbirth
and the rejection
that many times will come
even from her own children.
我给她内在的力量去忍受生产的剧痛,
也让她有勇气承受无数的伤害,
甚至这些伤害有时会来自于自己的孩子...
i gave her a hardness
that allows her
to keep going and take care
of her family and friends,
even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without
complaining....
我给她顽强,让她能够不#url#断地前进,
并且照顾自己的家人和朋友,
甚至当每个人都放弃的`时候,
她却能够坚强地在疾病和劳累之时毫无怨言...
i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. even when her child has hurt her badly....
she has the very special power to make a child“s boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager”s anxieties and fears....
我给她内心的敏感,让她在任何环境下都深爱着自己的孩子.甚至在他们深深伤害她的时候...
她用那特别的力量，让年幼孩子的在受伤的时候感到安慰，也能够让年轻的子女消除紧张与恐惧...
i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults
and i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....
我给她力量关心她的丈夫，尽管他会犯错.我用男人的肋骨创造了女人，使女人可以保护男人的心脏...
i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....
我给她智慧，让她知道一个好丈夫永远不会伤害他的妻子，但有时候会试炼她坚定的永远跟随自己丈夫的能力与决心.
for all of this hard work,
i also gave her a tear to shed.
it is hers to use
whenever needed and
it is her only weakness....
when you see her cry,
tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though
she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.
因为这些种种的困难，
我也同样赐她流下眼泪，
这是当她在需要时可以使用的，
这是她唯一的软弱之处...
当你看到她哭泣的时候，
告诉她你有多么地爱她，
告诉她她为所有人所做的一切，
即使这样她可能还是会哭泣，
但你会使她的心里得到安慰.
she is special!
please send this to women you know, and those with mothers,
sisters, and special women in their lives.
她是独特的!
请把这个信息传递给你认识的女人， 有母亲，姐妹和特别的女性在他们生命里的人.
but, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thing a woman is.
each da
篇12：英语演讲稿开场白幽默
As a speaker, he has often been compared to Abraham Lincoln delivering the Gettysburg Address. When he finishes his speech, there is also sorrow, tears and mourning ---- especially by the program committee.
幽默注释：演讲者讲得太糟糕了，组织者哭得很伤心。
★ 教学观摩学习心得
★ 开场白技巧
★ 渠道规划策划书
【幽默又有深度的英语演讲稿（共12篇）】相关文章：
高三幽默励志演讲2023-01-02
颁奖词的特点写法2024-01-20
口才学习的误区总结2022-10-28
如何在英语交际能力培养中渗透文化教学2023-09-20
教师培训主持词2023-01-29
暑期小学英语教师培训的心得体会2023-11-30
《杨氏之子》教学反思2023-09-28
比智商更宝贵的是勤奋作文2023-03-11
写作风格有哪些2023-06-09
聚焦课堂教学的心得体会2023-08-30