100字英语幽默笑话（整理7篇）由网友“司藤女王看热闹”投稿提供，下面是小编为大家整理后的100字英语幽默笑话，以供大家参考借鉴!
篇1：100字英语幽默笑话
1.two birds
teacher: here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. now who can tell us which is which?
student: i cannot point out but i know the answer.
teacher: please tell us.
student: the swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗?
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
2.the fish net
“can you tell me what fish net is made, ann?”
“a lot of little holes tied together with strings.” replied the little girl.
鱼网
“你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?”老师发问道。
“把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。”小女孩回答道。
3.One day, a group of soldiers carried out a task under the direction of their chief, and they came to a large river. There are a lot of new recruits of the regiment, colonel looked at the river, and looked at the soldiers, he really can not think of a suitable word to command the recruits rushed across the river, is in distress, suddenly had an idea, he ordered: “all disbanded after two minutes on the other side of the river set! ”
一天，一团士兵在长官的带领下执行一项任务，他们来到了一条大河边。这个团里有好多新兵，团长看着眼前的大河，又望了望士兵们，他实在想不出一个合适的词语来命令新兵们冲过河去，正在苦恼之际，突然灵机一动，他命令：“全体解散，两分钟后在河对岸集合！”
1.幽默的英语笑话
2.英语幽默笑话故事
3.最新英语幽默笑话
4.英语幽默笑话
5.英语幽默笑话小故事
6.英语的幽默笑话有哪些
7.英语幽默笑话带翻译
8.爆笑英语幽默笑话
9.英语幽默笑话大全
10.简短的英语幽默笑话
篇2：英语幽默笑话
英语幽默笑话：男人和女人对待猫
Women love cats. Men say they love cats,
but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
女人喜欢猫。男人说他们也喜欢，
但当女人看不到时，男人踢猫。
英语幽默笑话：男人和女人浴室用品分析
A man has five items in his bathroom;a toothbrush,shaving cream,razor,a bar of soap,and a towsl from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
男人浴室里五件宝：牙刷，刮胡膏，剃须刀，一块肥皂，一块毛巾。
一般的女人浴室里平均有337样东西，其中的大多数，男人不知道那是干哈用的。
英语幽默笑话：男人和女人的消费观
A man will pay$2 for a$1 item he needs.
A woman will pay$1 for a$2 item that she doesn't need,but it's on sale.
用得着的东西，要是值1块钱却卖2块，男人也会买;
用不着的东西，要是值2块钱但只卖1块，女人也会买。
英语幽默笑话：Eating out外出就餐
When the bill arrives ,Mark, Chris ,Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20,even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill , out come the pocket calculators.
买单的时候，阿麦，阿克、阿力和阿汤每人都甩出20块钱，虽然其实一共只吃了32块50没人有更小的票子了，也没人愿意承认他们其实想把票子破开。女人买单时，每人掏出个计算器。
单词&词组
wheel chair 轮椅
stroller 婴儿推车
make a pledgs 许诺，发誓
pack up 打包，收拾
travsling axpenses 差旅费
logic 逻辑，推理方法
splash 拍水，戏水
commotion 混乱，喧闹，骚动
bank 在英语中除了我们平时很熟悉的¨银行¨之外，还有“河岸”的意思。
savings 储蓄
知道不知道
你一定没想到吧，其实现实生活中，大多数人每天说的话都有逻辑错误。逻辑有其自身的规律，不管使用什么概念和命题，进行何推理和论证，都必须遵守最基本的逻辑规律。否则，人们的思维就会出现错误。常见的逻辑错误有偷换概念、偷换论题、自相矛盾模棱两可、循环定义、同语反复、概念不当并列、因果倒置、循环论证、推不出等。当你和别人辩论时，可能总觉得说不过别人，其实并不一定是别人真的有理，而是他们采用了上述你没有觉察到的逻辑错误说话术，让你哑口无言，一时无法应答。比如：司马光夫人说：我要去看花灯。“司马光说.“家中这么多灯，何必去看”司马光夫人说：“我耍去看游人。”司马光说：“家中这么多人，何必出去看?”犯的就是偷换概念的逻辑错误。
英语幽默笑话：家庭的争吵A family quarrel
The young newly-weds quarrelad.At last she could bear it no longer and burst into tears.
一对年轻的新婚夫妇吵架了。最后妻子终于忍不住哭了起来。
“I don't want to have anything to do with you any more. l'm packing up my things and going off to mother.““Fine,my dear,said the husband.
“我不想跟你有任何瓜葛了。我要去收拾东西，离开这里回娘家去。”
”Here are the traveling expenses.”She counted the money.“What about the money for the return ticket?”
“好，亲爱的，”丈夫说，“我给你路费。¨她数了数钱。”还有回来的路费呢。”
英语幽默笑话：谁要聋了？
1.幽默的英语笑话
2.英语幽默笑话
3.英语幽默的笑话
4.英语幽默笑话故事
5.最新英语幽默笑话
6.爆笑英语幽默笑话
7.简单的英语幽默笑话
8.儿童英语幽默短笑话
9.英语的幽默笑话有哪些
10.英语幽默笑话:谁要聋了
篇3：英语幽默笑话
“Ten steps from the porch(门廊) and twenty steps from the rose bushes,” growled Bluebeard in Jimmy's dream one night. “There be treasure there! Aawrgh.”
So the next day Jimmy began to dig. He dug until the hole was deep and the dirt pile was high.
He kept digging. The hole got deeper and the dirt pile got higher.
He dug until the hole was deepest and the dirt pile was at its highest. He sighed. “I'm too tired. I can't dig anymore.” Then he spied something... but it was only one of Woofy's bones. Instead of treasure, all Jimmy had was a dog bone, a hole, and a big pile of dirt to fill it in with. He thought “That pirate lied to me!”
But when Jimmy's mother saw what he had done, she clasped(紧抱，扣紧) her hands and smiled a smile from here to Sunday. “Oh, thank you, Jimmy. I always wanted a rhododendron(杜鹃) bush planted just there. Here's $5.00 for digging that hole.”
篇4：英语幽默笑话
Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, “Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?” Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, “So, you want to switch seats?”
婚后已久，我丈夫往往在一个特别事情上需要委婉的提醒。在我们结婚35周年纪念的早上，我们正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：“亲爱的，你意识到我们在这两个相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了吗?”
他放下报纸，眼睛直直地望着我：“因此，你想交换座位吗?”
篇5：英语幽默笑话
Two Pieces of Cake
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
两块蛋糕
汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?
妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!
篇6：英语幽默笑话
A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?
一位年轻的母亲认为，世界上还有许多受饥饿的人，浪费食物真不应该。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女儿睡觉之前，她给女儿喂夜宵。她先给她一片新鲜的黑面包和黄油，但孩子说她不喜欢这样吃。她还要一些果酱涂在面包上。母亲看了女儿几秒钟，随即说道，露茜，当我象你一样小的时候，总是吃面包加黄油，或者面包加果酱，从来没有面包既加黄油又加果酱。露茜看了母亲一会儿，眼中露出怜悯的神情，然后她柔声说：您现在能跟我们生活在一起难道不感到高兴吗?
篇7：英语幽默笑话精选
英语幽默笑话：出什么问题了
What was wrong ?
出什么问题了？
When I moved to California, I was a nervous wreck about earthquakes. MY friend Lisa, who was born and raised there, was completely blase. I remember once when we pulled up to a light, her Honda began to shake.She looked worried untill stammered，“I think that we-re having anearth quake.””Thank goodrx}ss,“Linda said.I thought something was wrong with my car.”
当我刚搬到加州住的时候，我对地震极为紧张。而我那位在加州土生土长的朋友丽莎却对此完全无动于衷.我记得有一次我们在等红灯的时候，她的本田车开始抖动起来。她看起来很担心，直到我结结巴巴地说：“我想我们是碰到地震了。“她立刻松了一口气说道，“谢天谢地，我还以为是我的车出问题了。”
英语幽默笑话：肉食部
The meat department
肉食部
My office is in a building remodeled from a former supermarket.
我的办公室设在由超市改装过的一座大厦里。
One day I overheard the receptionist gI、ting directions over the phone. “Remember the old grocery store?n she asked thecaller. ”You‘¨find us in the meat dopartment.“
有一天，我听见前台秘书在电话里描述我们的位置。她说：“记得老杂货店吗？你能在肉食部找到我们。”
单词&词组
direction light 向灯
optimist 乐观主义者
perimist 悲观主义者
brag about 对…自夸：吹嘘…
observe 观察：研究
outfit 全套装备，全套工具
remodel 比重建
department 部，部门
知道不知道
汽车部件名词术语
引擎盖-bonnet：hood
后备箱- boot；trunk
挡泥板-mudflap
轮胎- tyre：tire
后视镜（车内中央，矩形的）- rearview mirror
方向盘-steering wheel
安全带-seat belt
变速杆（排挡）-gear shift，shift lever
手刹车-hand-brake lever
脚刹车（踏板）-brake pedal
油门（踏板）-accelerator pedal
离合器（踏板）-clutch pedal
英语幽默笑话故事：百万富翁
那些妙趣横生的英语幽默故事
Millionaire
百万富翁
CEO: “My wife made a millionaire out of me.”
CEO：我妻子使我成为百万富翁。
Assistant: “What were you before?“
助手：以前你是什么？
CEO:”a multimillionaire.“
CEO：千万宣翁。
英语笑话故事：心不在焉的丈夫
An absent-minded husband
心不在焉的丈夫
I was accompanying my husband on a business trip. He carried his portable computer with him, and the guard at the airport gate asked him to open the case. It was locked, and the man waited patiently as my embarrassed spouse struggled to remember the combination. At last he succeeded.
我陪丈夫一起出差，他带着他的笔记本电脑。到了机场出口处时， 有位检查员要他打开包。但是包锁上了，机场工作人员耐心地等着我那窘迫的丈夫设法回想起暗锁的密码。最后他终于想起来了。
“Why are you so nervous?”I asked him.
”你为什么那么紧张呢？“我问他。
“The numbers are the date of our annivorsary．my husband confessed.
“密码是我们的结婚纪念日。”他承认道”
双语笑话 干脆不来了
One moming a colleague said，”I need to leave early tomorrow That aftemoon he followed up with, “Looks like l'll be coming in late tomorrow,but if my coming in late runs into myIeaving early,then I won't be in at all.”
一天上午，一个同事说：“明天我要早一点走。“当天下午他又补充说：“看来我明天要晚一点来。但是，如果我要来得晚，又得早走的话，那我明天干脆不来了
英语笑话：飞行员会飞吗
Can pilots fly?
飞行员会飞吗？
The Great Lakes Laboratoryemployed a licensed boat captain for its research vessel.It was common knowledge that the captain couldn't swim. When newcomers learned of this,they would often aproach him about jt,”ls it true ？ You,a boat captain, can't swim ? “”No,I can't!“he replied. ”Can pilots fly?“
五大潮实验室雇用一位有执照的船长驾驶研究用的船。大家都知道这个船长下会游泳。当新来的人知道这事以后，他们常常会去问他：“这是真的吗？身为船长你不会游泳？一他回答说：”对，我不会！飞行员会飞吗？”
单词＆词组
nowhere 不在任何地方：任何地方都不
argument 争执；理由
budge 改变主意；让步
pasture 牧场；牧草；放牧
marriage 婚姻；（喻）结合
colleague 同事，同行
gas station 加油站
noticeable 面明显的，值得注意的
employ 雇用，工作，职业
veSSel 船，舰，容器
approach 接近，交涉，通路，途径
pilot 飞行员，驾驶，带领
知道不知道
五大湖( Great Lakes)是位于加拿大与美国交界处的5座大型淡水湖泊，按面积从大到小分别为：苏必利尔湖( Lake Superior)、休伦湖( Lake Huron)、密歌根湖(Lake Michigan)、伊利湖(LakeErie)和安大略湖(Lake Ontario)o除密歇根湖全属于美国之外，其他四湖为加拿大和美国共有。这五个湖泊所组成的五大湖是世界上最大的没水水域，总面积达245,660平方公里，有北美洲地中海之称。
1.幽默的英语笑话
2.2016幽默笑话精选
3.幽默笑话句子精选
4.幽默笑话精选大全
5.精选职场幽默笑话
6.幽默笑话精选
7.幽默笑话段子精选
8.精选幽默笑话最新
9.校园幽默笑话精选
10.职场幽默笑话精选
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