TED英文演讲:你真正需要和谁结婚

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TED英文演讲:你真正需要和谁结婚

篇1:TED英文演讲:你真正需要和谁结婚

中英文演讲稿

When I was growing up, there was this song we used to sing on the playground, and it went like this, “Tracy and so and so, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage.”And I’m like, OK, that’s it! That’s how you do life. That’s how you do a relationship. Love, marriage, baby carriage. OK, got it.

我小时候经常唱这么一首歌:翠西和某某,坐在树下,互相亲吻,先是爱情,再是婚姻,最后生了宝宝,推在婴儿车里,一家人其乐融融。感觉就像:“喔!原来如此,这就是生活,这就是感情呀。”爱情、婚姻、婴儿车,这就是幻想的家庭的全部了。

And then I grew up, and this is what my life turned out to be. Slightly more complicated, right?Love, marriage, divorce, dry spells, love, marriage, co-parenting, another marriage, another divorce; you got the picture.

然而我长大后,这才是我的真实生活:稍微复杂了一点点,相爱、结婚、离婚,单身,再度坠入爱河,又结婚,共同抚养孩子,又离婚;又结婚,又离婚……你可以想象。

So if you’re good at math and/or a fast reader, what you’ve got there is that I’ve been married three times. Yep, three, and divorced. What that’s supposed to mean is that I’m a total failure at relationships. And that is one way to look at it, but not the only way.

所以,你数学或是阅读能力很好的话,你就会发现,我一共结了三次婚。对,三次,并且都离了。而这所应该代表的就是,我在感情上妥妥的是个失败者。从另一种角度看,确实如此,但也不是唯一的角度。

Because what I think really happened is that I kept marrying the wrong person. No, it’s not that I didn’t — it’s not that I chose bad guys. My first two husbands were amazing men who are now married to wonderful women who aren’t me. And my third husband, well, we’re friends on Facebook now. So, all is well that ends well, right?

因为在我眼中,真正发生的事情就是我一直在和错误的人结婚。和错误的人结婚,并不代表我选择了很差劲的对象,我的前两任丈夫都是很棒的人。现在也都娶了很棒的姑娘,虽然并不是我。现在我的第三任丈夫是我的Facebook好友。结果一切都还好,是吧?

After the collapse of my third marriage in 20xx, I realized that I’ve been marrying everyone in sight, except the one person that I really needed to marry in order to have a great relationship and that once I married that person, all of my relationships would be successes, even the failures. The so-called failures, actually.

在20xx年,我第三次婚姻崩溃了以后,我意识到我为了有一段美好的感情,我几乎和眼前所有的人都结过婚,却唯独没有嫁给那个我应该嫁的人。而且,我一旦嫁给了那个人,我所有的感情都将是成功的,包括那些中途夭折的感情,也就是失败。

Since we’re talking today about women inventing, I’m going to talk about inventing relationships. What I’ve found through a lot of trial and obviously, many, many, many errors, to be the thing that has transformed my life and love, and that is this idea of marrying yourself.

既然我们今天谈论的是女人的创造,我就来说说创造感情吧。我从很多次经历中,很多很多的错误中,所发现的道理,改变了我的人生观和爱情观,即嫁给自己。

So what does it mean to marry yourself? It’s a big idea. It is as big as marriage itself except, if I could just summarize it, it would be that you enter into a relationship with yourself and then you put a ring on it.

所以,嫁给自己是什么意思呢?这是一个大的观念,几乎和婚姻观念等同,如果让我总结一下的话,就是要和你自己处对象,然后嫁给你自己。

In other words, you commit to yourself fully.And then you build a relationship with yourself to the point where you realize that you’re whole right now, that there is no man, woman, job, circumstance that can happen to you that’s going to make you more whole because you already are. And this changes your life.

换句话说,就是向自己坦白一切,然后和自己建立关系,到了那一步,你就会意识到,你现在是完整的了。男人,女人,工作,环境,都将不会对你有任何影响。这些都不会使你更加完整,因为你已经是完整的了。这将改变你的人生。

By now, I’m sure at least some of you are wondering why you should be listening to a three-time divorcee talk about marriage? Even to herself. And I understand that.

Here’s what I have to say about that: what I’ve learned and my experience is that the places where you have the biggest challenges in your life become the places where you have the most to give if you do your inner work. I kind of want to say that again: the places where you have the biggest challenges are the places where you have the most to give.

到现在为止,我知道你们中间肯定有人在想,你们为什么要听一个离过三次婚的女人讲婚姻观。甚至她自己也是这么想的。我理解这样的想法。我对此想说的是,我从我的经验所学到的,当你改变你的内在的时候,越是困难之处,越是要迎难而上。

So let me tell you a little bit about the person I truly needed to marry: myself.

那么让我来讲讲那个我应该嫁的人,也就是我自己。

I am from Minneapolis. Wooh! My mom was a prostitute and an alcoholic. She put me in foster care when I was three months old.My dad was a criminal; he was a drug dealer and a pimp with a heart of gold — actually, they both had hearts of gold — and he spent more or less my whole life in prison.

我来自明尼阿波利斯,我妈妈是一个妓女,而且有酒瘾,在我三个月大的时候她就把我送到了寄养家庭。我的爸爸是一个罪犯,他是一个一心想赚钱的毒品走私犯和皮条客。其实他们俩都是一心想要钱的人。几乎在我一生中的所有时间里,他们都在蹲监狱。

And he just got out of prison after his most recent sentence which was 20 years.

Until the age of nine, I was probably in two dozen foster homes. The thing you need to know about this story — there are a lot of details, obviously — but the thing you need to know is that I came out of that childhood with one goal: to never be left. And the way I was going to do that is that I was going to get married. That was the way I was going to accomplish that goal.

他最近才服完20xx年监禁从监狱中出来,而我...在九岁以前,我在20多个寄养家庭中生活过。毕竟这里面有很多细节,你们只需要知道,从那样的童年中走过来,我只有一个目标,就是永远不被抛弃。而我达成这个目标的途径,将是结婚。这就是我为了达成这个目标将会做的事情。

So I got married the first time to a guy I met when I was 17. We got married a couple of years later, when I was 19. He was a really good guy from a great family, he had an MBA. I mean, it was like, you know, marriage material. You know, I was thrilled. I was like, “I have a family. I belong somewhere. This is wonderful.”

所以,我和一个我17岁时候认识的男人结了第一次婚,那时我19岁。他是一个很棒的男人,有着和睦的家庭,以及MBA的文凭。就像...你知道的,很适合的结婚对象。我当时很惊喜,当时就想着,我有家庭了,有归属了,真是太赞了。

And then after five years I left him. And then 10 years later, I got married again to another wonderful guy, who is the father of my now 16-years-old son. We still have a wonderful relationship. He is a really good guy.But after four years I left him, too.

但是,五年以后我就离开了他。接着,十年之后,我又结婚了。对象是另一个很棒的男人,也就是我现在16岁儿子的父亲。我们现在关系也很好,因为他真的是一个很好的人。但是结婚四年以后,我还是离开了他。

And I am not proud to say that I did that, but in order to really marry yourself, you have to get sometimes very painfully honest with yourself about what it is that you’ve done. So I’m not proud of that.

我对此并不真正感到骄傲,但是为了真正的嫁给自己,你就要对自己诚实,有时候甚至痛苦至极地面对自己已经做过的事情。所以,我对此并不感到骄傲。

And then eight years later, I got married again, when I was 40, and I was like, “OK, this feels right!” Let me tell you what felt right to a girl who was in 24 foster homes: a guy who started to date after nine months of marriage; essentially, he started dating a 21-year-old girl.

八年之后,在我40岁的时候,我又结婚了。我当时想着,这感觉真不错。让我来说说什么会让一个在24个寄养家庭中生活过的女孩儿感觉不错。一个在结婚后九周就开始约会的男人,重要的是,他开始和一个21岁的女孩儿约会。

OK, I mean, it would be funny, if it weren’t so tragic. You have to have a sense of — that is why we’re Facebook friends. So, here I am looking at this person that I just described with a terrible track record of relationships, and I’m like, “I’m supposed to marry her? This is the woman you want me to marry?”

我的意思是,如果不是这么悲惨的的话,还蛮有意思的。你会有种感觉,这也是我们俩现在还是Facebook好友的原因。所以,当我从现在的角度再去看我刚刚说的这个有着劣迹斑斑的感情经历的女人,我的想法就像是,我真的要嫁给她吗?这就是你想让我嫁的人?

And the answer is yes. Because here is the deal: the thing about marrying yourself is not just like cohabitating. You’re not just going to date for a while and see how it turns out. You are going to do this till death do you part.

答案是,是的。因为嫁给自己并不是像同居那样,你不能约会一段时间再看情况做决定。你必须坚持到最后直到死亡把你们分开。

You are going to take vows. So here are the vows.

你将宣誓,宣誓如下:

Number 1: you are going to marry yourself for richer or for poorer. This means you are going to love yourself right where you are. You don’t say to yourself,“When you get to the corner of Hollywood and Vine, then I will marry you.”You don’t say, “When you lose ten pounds, then I will love you.”And you don’t say, “If you hadn’t married that loser, I would love you, but since you did, I’m sorry, I think it’s over.”

When you marry yourself, you walk yourself down that aisle exactly where you are. And paradoxically, I found that loving myself exactly where I am is the only way to get where I am going.

第一,你将嫁给你自己,无论贫穷与富贵。意思是你将无条件地爱自己。你不能说「等你去了好莱坞和藤街,我才嫁给你」,你也不能说「等你瘦了十磅以后我才会爱你」,你更不能说「如果你没有嫁给那个失败者,我才会爱你。既然已经嫁了,那么我觉得我们之间结束了」。当你嫁给你自己的时候,你走过长廊,走到你所在的位置。略微矛盾的地方在于,我发现爱那个就在原地的我是我走向目的地的唯一途径。

Number 2: you are going to marry yourself for better or for worse. What this means is that most of us are willing to love ourselves for better, I mean, sure, I am having a great hair day today. I love me. That’s not what I am talking about.

I’m talking about for worse, you know, the big life disappointments. Maybe you don’t own a home, you didn’t get the career you wanted, maybe you didn’t graduate from college, maybe you didn’t get the relationship you wanted. Maybe it hasn’t turned out — maybe you fight with your mum, maybe you watch too much reality TV, whatever it is, it doesn’t matter anymore. Because when you marry yourself, you agree to stay with you no matter what.

第二,你将嫁给你自己,无论环境好与坏。这句话意思是,大部分人都会在更好的情况下爱自己,比如,我今天发型很赞,我爱我自己。这不是我要说的部分,我要说的是,在更坏的情况下,那种当人生辜负了你的时候,可能你无家可归,可能你没有从事喜欢的事业,可能你没有顺利地大学毕业,可能你没有找到想要的感情,可能事情没法向你想的方向发展,可能你和妈妈吵架了,可能你看了太多太现实的电视剧。无论发生了什么,都不重要。因为,当你嫁给了自己以后,你都将永远陪在自己身边,不管发生什么。

Third, you marry yourself in sickness and in health. So what this means is that you forgive yourself for your mistakes. A mistake isn’t actually a failure unless you don’t learn from it and unless you don’t grow.There is a saying, “You ask for patience, and what you get is a line at the bank.”

第三,你将嫁给自己,无论生病与健康。这句话的意思是,你要原谅自己所犯过的错误。错误,并不代表失败,除非你不懂得吸取教训,除非你不成长。有句话是这样说的,你想要耐心,得到的却是在银行排长队。

What that means is that life does not give you what you’ve asked for, it gives you the people, places, and situations that allow you to develop what you ask for.And the thing is if you don’t get it right the first time, life will give it to you again. Because life is very generous that way. It’s like I didn’t get it the first time, in the first marriage, and I didn’t get it the second time, maybe the third time I’ll get it.

也就是,生活不会给你你所想要的东西,它只会给你那些能让你建立你所想要的东西的人物,地方,和状况。并且,你知道,如果你第一次无法达成你想要的,生活会再给你一次机会。因为生活在那方面还是很慷慨的。

So inside that terrible experience of that third marriage, I learned something about “in sickness and in health”. What I learned is how to sit by my own bedside, and how to hold my own hand, and how to nurse myself, and how to comfort myself. And what I learned is that I am a person that I can count on.

就像,我在第一次婚姻中没有得到想要的,在第二次婚姻中也没有,但是,就像...也许我在第三次婚姻中可以得到我想要的呢。所以,在我糟心的第三次婚姻中,我从「无论生病还是健康」中学到很多。我学会了在自己的床边,握着自己的手,照顾自己,安慰自己。我知道,我知道我是那个自己是那个可以依赖的人。

Last but not least, you marry yourself — when you marry yourself, it’s to have and to hold yourself. What does it mean to have and to hold? Well, I think it means that you love yourself the way you want someone else to love you.

最后,也同样重要的是,你嫁给你自己。当你嫁给自己的时候,就要拥有并掌握自己。那么,什么叫做「拥有并掌握自己」呢?我认为它的意思是,你希望别人怎样爱你,你就要像那样爱你自己。

I had always been going through life with this sense of lack. I felt like I was kind of half a person, and that I was missing something. I went into my relationships hoping to solve this feeling that I had my entire life: that I wasn’t whole unless someone loved me.And the truth was that I wasn’t ever going to feel whole until I learned to love myself.

我的生活中,一直有这样一种缺失感。我觉得我像是个半边人,缺失了什么东西一样。我开始了一段感情,希望能缓解我这一生都有的这种情绪,即:如果没有人爱我,我就是不完整的。而事实却是,如果我不学会爱我自己,我将永远无法感觉到自己是完整的。

So this business of marrying yourself transforms every area of your life: your business, family relationships, kids, social relationships, friends. Because when you marry yourself, this huge thing happens: you become able to love in this whole new way. You become able to love other people right where they are, for who they are, the same way you’re already loving yourself. And of course, this is what the world needs more of.

所以,嫁给自己这件事将改变你人生中的每个部分,你的生意,家庭关系,孩子,社交关系,朋友。因为在你嫁给自己的时候,会发生很大的转变,你将会以全新的方式去爱。你将会无条件地去爱别人,就像你爱自己的那样。没错,这世界就是需要更多这样的爱。

So when I married myself, and I realized that I already had everything I needed, I started seeing it as my job to basically just light up my little corner of the world. That’s my new job. Because I don’t need anything, I already have it.

当我嫁给自己的时候我就意识到,我已经拥有了我所需要的一切。我开始把点亮我的小角落这件事情看做自己的工作,那就是我的新工作。因为我现在并不需要什么。

So when I take meetings, it’s all about how can I help this person achieve her goal? When I’m in my social communities, it is like what can I bring to this that only I can bring?And when I go on dates, it is like how can I just discover another person maybe for just one hour which, of course, brings me a full circle.

所以,当我开会的时候,我所想的就只有怎样帮助她来完成她的目标。在我的社交圈内,我就会想,我能带给这个人只有我能带给他的东西吗?而我在约会的时候,我就会想我能在一个小时内了解对方多少呢?这样就带给我了一个良性循环。

Because people always asked me about my love life; they want to know.And you know, the answer is, I am still working on it. Aren’t we all? So this is where I am right now. About three months ago, I went on a first date. And about 30 minutes into the date, I found myself paying attention not to whether he liked me, but how I felt in his presence. I noticed that I was light, happy, and joking. And as I reflected on the date afterwards, I was like, “Wow, I got really excited! Look, this is how committed I am to myself.”

因为大家总是问我的感情生活,很八卦。答案是,我还在努力中。难道我们不都是吗?所以,我现在的处境是这样的,约三个月前,我和他第一次约会,这次约会中有30分钟,我都在关注我在他的陪伴下的感受,而不是他是否喜欢我。我发现我当时很放松,很开心。我在约会之后的反应就像「我真是天兴奋了,看,这就是向自己坦白真实的自己」。

I am not even on this date trying to get someone to like me. I am more interested in how I feel about me than how he feels about me, not because I am selfish, but because the only relationship I am ever going to have with another person is the one that I am already having with myself — just going to have it with them now.

So it turned out he liked me, and we are still together. It’s cool and amazing, but I’ve been married three times, so slow down.

我在这次约会上完全没有努力去让别人喜欢我,比起他怎么看我,我更关心的是我自己怎么看我。并不是因为我自私,而是因为唯一一段我将会和别人拥有的感情就是我现在已经和自己拥有的这种感情。从现在到今后都是如此。后来发现,他很喜欢我,我们也还在约会。这非常酷也非常激动人心,不过鉴于我已经结了三次婚,所以还是慢点。

The thing is that I am not trying to get security from him through marriage, and, God forbid, a baby carriage. I am only here to just be in a relationship. I am not dying to hear the words, “Will you marry me?” Because even though those words are very powerful — and very powerful to a person like me — I don’t need them to hear it from him because I have already heard them from myself.

重点在于,我没有想从他或者从婚姻中得到安全感,以及一个婴儿车。我只是为了一段感情而来,我并不会迫不及待想听到“你愿意嫁给我吗?”。因为尽管这样的语言很有煽动性,尤其是对于像我这样的人。我也并不需要从他那里听到这样的话,因为我已经听到自己这样说过了。

The way I see it is like I took myself to the top of a mountain, or maybe to the bottom of the ocean, and I got down on one knee, and I said, “I’ll never leave you.”

And now I am married to the one person I really wanted to be with all along: myself.

在我的眼中,就像是我带我自己去了高山之巅或者深海之底,我单膝跪下说“我永远都不会离开你”。现在,我终于嫁给了那个我一直想共度一生的人,我自己。

Thank you.

谢谢

篇2:TED英文演讲:过错并不能定义你的人生

演讲者:Shaka Senghor

| 中英文演讲稿 |

Twenty-three years ago, at the age of 19, I shot and killed a man. I was a young drug dealer with a quick temper and a semi-automatic pistol.

But that wasn't the end of my story. In fact, it was beginning, and the 23 years since is a story of acknowledgment, apology and atonement. But it didn't happen in the way that you might imagine or think. These things occurred in my life in a way that was surprising, especially to me.

See, like many of you, growing up, I was an honor roll student, a scholarship student, with dreams of becoming a doctor. But things went dramatically wrong when my parents separated and eventually divorced.

The actual events are pretty straightforward. At the age of 17, I got shot three times standing on the corner of my block in Detroit. My friend rushed me to the hospital. Doctors pulled the bullets out, patched me up, and sent me back to the same neighborhood where I got shot. Throughout this ordeal, no one hugged me, no one counseled me, no one told me I would be okay. No one told me that I would live in fear, that I would become paranoid, or that I would react hyper-violently to being shot. No one told me that one day, I would become the person behind the trigger. Fourteen months later, at 2 a.m., I fired the shots that caused a man's death.

When I entered prison, I was bitter, I was angry, I was hurt. I didn't want to take responsibility. I blamed everybody from my parents to the system. I rationalized my decision to shoot because in the hood where I come from, it's better to be the shooter than the person getting shot. As I sat in my cold cell, I felt helpless, unloved and abandoned. I felt like nobody cared, and I reacted with hostility to my confinement. And I found myself getting deeper and deeper into trouble. I ran black market stores, I loan sharked, and I sold drugs that were illegally smuggled into the prison. I had in fact become what the warden of the Michigan Reformatory called “the worst of the worst.” And because of my activity, I landed in solitary confinement for seven and a half years out of my incarceration.

Now as I see it, solitary confinement is one of the most inhumane and barbaric places you can find yourself, but find myself I did. One day, I was pacing my cell, when an officer came and delivered mail. I looked at a couple of letters before I looked at the letter that had my son's squiggly handwriting on it. And anytime I would get a letter from my son, it was like a ray of light in the darkest place you can imagine. And on this particular day, I opened this letter, and in capital letters, he wrote, “My mama told me why you was in prison: murder.” He said, “Dad, don't kill. Jesus watches what you do. Pray to Him.”

Now, I wasn't religious at that time, nor am I religious now, but it was something so profound about my son's words. They made me examine things about my life that I hadn't considered. It was the first time in my life that I had actually thought about the fact that my son would see me as a murderer. I sat back on my bunk and I reflected on something I had read in [Plato], where Socrates stated in “Apology” that the unexamined life isn't worth living.

At that point is when the transformation began. But it didn't come easy. One of the things I realized, which was part of the transformation, was that there were four key things. The first thing was, I had great mentors. Now, I know some of you all are probably thinking, how did you find a great mentor in prison? But in my case, some of my mentors who are serving life sentences were some of the best people to ever come into my life, because they forced me to look at my life honestly, and they forced me to challenge myself about my decision making.

The second thing was literature. Prior to going to prison, I didn't know that there were so many brilliant black poets, authors and philosophers, and then I had the great fortune of encountering Malcolm X's autobiography, and it shattered every stereotype I had about myself.

The third thing was family. For 19 years, my father stood by my side with an unshakable faith, because he believed that I had what it took to turn my life around. I also met an amazing woman who is now the mother of my two-year-old son Sekou, and she taught me how to love myself in a healthy way.

The final thing was writing. When I got that letter from my son, I began to write a journal about things I had experienced in my childhood and in prison, and what it did is it opened up my mind to the idea of atonement. Earlier in my incarceration, I had received a letter from one of the relatives of my victim, and in that letter, she told me she forgave me, because she realized I was a young child who had been abused and had been through some hardships and just made a series of poor decisions. It was the first time in my life that I ever felt open to forgiving myself.

One of the things that happened after that experience is that I thought about the other men who were incarcerated alongside of me, and how much I wanted to share this with them. And so I started talking to them about some of their experiences, and I was devastated to realize that most of them came from the same abusive environments, And most of them wanted help and they wanted to turn it around, but unfortunately the system that currently holds 2.5 million people in prison is designed to warehouse as opposed to rehabilitate or transform. So I made it up in my mind that if I was ever released from prison that I would do everything in my power to help change that.

In 20xx, I walked out of prison for the first time after two decades. Now imagine, if you will, Fred Flintstone walking into an episode of “The Jetsons.” That was pretty much what my life was like. For the first time, I was exposed to the Internet, social media, cars that talk like KITT from “Knight Rider.” But the thing that fascinated me the most was phone technology. See, when I went to prison, our car phones were this big and required two people to carry them. So imagine what it was like when I first grabbed my little Blackberry and I started learning how to text. But the thing is, the people around me, they didn't realize that I had no idea what all these abbreviated texts meant, like LOL, OMG, LMAO, until one day I was having a conversation with one of my friends via text, and I asked him to do something, and he responded back, “K.” And I was like, “What is K?” And he was like, “K is okay.” So in my head, I was like, “Well what the hell is wrong with K?” And so I text him a question mark. And he said, “K = okay.” And so I tap back, “FU.” (Laughter) And then he texts back, and he asks me why was I cussing him out. And I said, “LOL FU,” as in, I finally understand.

And so fast forward three years, I'm doing relatively good. I have a fellowship at MIT Media Lab, I work for an amazing company called BMe, I teach at the University of Michigan, but it's been a struggle because I realize that there are more men and women coming home who are not going to be afforded those opportunities. I've been blessed to work with some amazing men and women, helping others reenter society, and one of them is my friend named Calvin Evans. He served 24 years for a crime he didn't commit. He's 45 years old. He's currently enrolled in college. And one of the things that we talked about is the three things that I found important in my personal transformation, the first being acknowledgment. I had to acknowledge that I had hurt others. I also had to acknowledge that I had been hurt. The second thing was apologizing. I had to apologize to the people I had hurt. Even though I had no expectations of them accepting it, it was important to do because it was the right thing. But I also had to apologize to myself. The third thing was atoning. For me, atoning meant going back into my community and working with at-risk youth who were on the same path, but also becoming at one with myself.

Through my experience of being locked up, one of the things I discovered is this: the majority of men and women who are incarcerated are redeemable, and the fact is, 90 percent of the men and women who are incarcerated will at some point return to the community, and we have a role in determining what kind of men and women return to our community.

My wish today is that we will embrace a more empathetic approach toward how we deal with mass incarceration, that we will do away with the lock-them-up-and-throw-away-the-key mentality, because it's proven it doesn't work.

My journey is a unique journey, but it doesn't have to be that way. Anybody can have a transformation if we create the space for that to happen. So what I'm asking today is that you envision a world where men and women aren't held hostage to their pasts, where misdeeds and mistakes don't define you for the rest of your life. I think collectively, we can create that reality, and I hope you do too.Thank you.

二十三年以前, 在我十九岁的时候, 我击中并杀害了一个人。 我那时是年轻的贩毒者, 脾气暴躁, 有一只半自动的手枪。

但我的故事并未在此结束。 相反,它刚刚开始。 这接下来的20xx年 是一个关于承认,道歉,和补偿的故事。 是一个关于承认,道歉,和补偿的故事。 但这故事并没有 以你可能正在想象或认为的的方式发生。 尤其是对我来说, 这些事情 在我生命中以一种令人惊讶的方式发生。

看,我像你们中的很多人一样长大, 我是一个优秀生, 一个有奖学金的学生, 有着成为一个医生的梦想。 但是戏剧性的, 当我父母分家并最终离婚时 一切都变了。

具体的事件其实很简单。 在我17岁的时候, 我被枪击中了三次 就在底特律我所居住的那个街区。 我朋友赶忙把我送到医院。 医生们把子弹拔出来, 把伤口缝好, 又把我送回到了我被枪击的街区。 在这次磨难中, 没有人抱过我, 没有人安慰我, 没有人跟我说,一切都会好起来的。 没有人告诉过我,我会一直活在恐惧中, 我会变成偏执狂, 或者我对“被枪击”的反应将会极端暴力。 或者我对“被枪击”的反应将会极端暴力。 没人告诉我, 有一天,我会变成扣动扳机的那个人。 十四个月之后, 在凌晨两点, 我开了一枪, 并造成了一个人的死亡。

当我进监狱时, 我很痛苦,我很愤怒,我很受伤。 我不想承担这个责任。 我把自己的过失归罪于所有人, 从我的父母,到社会制度。 我使自己开枪的动机合理化, 因为在我的成长阴影里, 做一个射击者 总好过被别人开枪击中。 当我坐在我冰冷的牢房里, 我感觉十分无助, 无人关爱,并被世界遗弃。 我觉得没有人在乎我, 于是我带着敌意 反抗对我的监禁。 然后我就发现, 自己越来越深得陷入了麻烦。 我在监狱里经营黑市, 放高利贷, 出售非法偷运进监狱的毒品。 出售非法偷运进监狱的毒品。 事实上,我的确成为了 密歇根少年教养院院长口中的 “恶中之恶”。 因为我的这些恶行, 在我的刑期中有七年半, 我都被单独禁闭起来。 我都被单独禁闭起来。

如今当我回顾时, 单人监禁是你所能找到的 是最无人道和最残酷的地方之一 而我正置身其中。 一天,我正在牢房里踱步, 一个狱警进来派发邮件。 我先读了一些信件, 然后我看到了那封来自儿子的信, 他手写的字母还歪歪扭扭。 每当我收到我儿子写的信, 那信就像一束光, 射进了你能想象到的最黑暗的地方。 在那天,我打开这封信, 儿子用大写字母写道: “妈妈告诉我, 你是因为谋杀而入狱的。” 他说:“爸爸,别杀人。 上帝能看到你的一举一动。向他祈祷吧。“

我当时并不信教, 我现在也不信教, 但在我儿子的话中, 我看到了一些很深奥的东西。 这些东西使我审视我的生命, 思考那些我以前从未细思过的事情。 我第一次想到, 我儿子将会视我为一个杀人犯。 我儿子将会视我为一个杀人犯。 我坐回我的铺位上, 《柏拉图》中的片段在我脑中闪现。 《柏拉图》中的片段在我脑中闪现。 在《申辩篇》中苏格拉底说道, ”浑浑噩噩的生活不值得过。“

这一刻,是我生命转变的开始。 但想转变并非轻而易举。 在转变中, 我意识到 关键点有四个。 第一, 我有很好的导师。 我知道你们有些人可能在想, 你是怎么在监狱里找到很好的导师呢? 但是在我的经历中, 我的一些导师 尽管处于终身监禁 却是我走进我生命中的最好的人。 因为他们迫使我去诚实地看待自己的经历, 也迫使我去挑战我曾做过的决定。 也迫使我去挑战我曾做过的决定。

第二件重要之物是文学。 在进监狱之前, 我并不知道世界上有这么多优秀的黑人诗人、作者和哲学家。 但之后我读了Malcolm X的自传, 这对我来说是宝贵的财富, 它动摇了我对自己所有的成见。 它动摇了我对自己所有的成见。

第三件重要之物是家庭。 20xx年来,我父亲一直支持着我 因为他相信我有能力 把自己的生活转入正轨。 把自己的生活转入正轨。 我也遇到了一位令人赞叹的女性, 她就是我两岁儿子Sekou的母亲。 她教会了我 如何用一种健康的方式爱自己。

最后一件重要之物是写作。 当我收到我儿子的来信时, 我开始写一本日记 记载我童年和在监狱里的经历, 记载我童年和在监狱里的经历, 以及这些经历是怎样让我 明白“补偿”的概念。 在我被囚禁的早期, 我曾接到过一封来自受害人家属的信。 信里, 她说她已经原谅我了, 因为她意识到我只是个 幼时被虐待过的孩子, 还经历过许多苦难, 才会做出一系列错误的决定。 这是我此生第一次 觉得或许我也能够原谅自己。

收到这封信之后, 收到这封信之后, 我想到在我身边 其他被囚禁的人们, 我想把这种感悟分享给他们。 于是我就开始和他们聊天, 了解他们所经历过的事. 令我极为震惊的是, 他们中的大部分都曾和我一样在幼时饱受虐待, 他们渴望得到帮助,渴望改正自己, 可不幸的是,现在的体系 像个仓库,关押了250万的囚犯, 像个仓库,关押了250万的囚犯, 却没有帮助他们改过自新、转变观念。 所以我暗下决心, 如果有一天我能被从监狱里释放 我会竭尽全力去改变这样的现状。 我会竭尽全力去改变这样的现状。

20xx年,我在被关押了20多年后 第一次走出监狱。 现在,如果你愿意,请想象一下, 一个远古时代的人突然踏进了未来时空。 (原句:”卡通角色‘摩登原始人’走入了以未来世界为主题的动画片'杰森一家'“) 我当时的感受大概如此。 我第一次接触到互联网, 社会媒体, 带有语音的汽车,就像在科幻电影中一样。 但最令我着迷的, 还是通信技术。 当我进监狱时, 我们的电话有这么大, 必须有两个人才能搬起来。 所以,想象一下我第一次拿起黑莓手机时的情景, 所以,想象一下我第一次拿起黑莓手机时的情景, 然后我开始学习如何发短信。 但问题是,我身边的人, 他们并没有意识到 我完全不了解各种短信缩写的含义, 比如lol(大笑),omg(天啊),lmao(笑死了)。 直到有一天 我和朋友在互发短信。 我请他帮忙做一件事,他回复:”k“。 我说,”什么是k?“ 他说,”k没事”(多意:k就是okay)。 我当时就想, “k难道会有事吗?” 所以我给他回了一个问号。 于是他又说,“k=okay”。 我回复,“FU(去你x的)”。(笑声) 他问,“你干嘛骂我?” 他问,“你干嘛骂我?” 我说,“lol(大笑),FU (去你x的)”, 我这就会用缩写了。 (笑声)

这样过去了三年, 我就过得不错了。 我在MIT的媒体实验室加入了一个项目, 我为令人惊叹的BMe工作, 我在密歇根大学教书, 但我内心又开始斗争, 因为我意识到有更多的人 从监狱出来, 没有办法接触到这样的机会。 我曾很幸运的和一些杰出的人 一起工作, 帮助其他被释放的人重新进入社会。 其中一个,我的朋友,Calvin Evans。 他被判冤狱,坐了20xx年牢。 他45岁了,现在正在上大学。 现在,像我们在开头说过, 那三样我觉得在自己转变中 最为重要的事, 第一就是承认。 我必须承认,我曾经伤害过他人。 我也必须承认,我曾被伤害过。 第二件是道歉。 我必须向被我伤害过的人们道歉。 尽管我并不期望他们会接受我的道歉, 道歉仍然很重要,因为道歉是正确的事。 可我也必须要向自己道歉。 第三件事是补偿。 对我而言,补偿意味着 回到我生长的社区中, 帮助那些正跟我以前走着同样道路 有风险的儿童。 同时我也成为他们其中的一员。

经过我的监狱生涯, 我发现大部分被监禁的人, 我发现大部分被监禁的人, 都并非无可救药。 事实上, 90%被监禁的人 在某一时刻都会回归到社会中。 而我们能影响着 他们回归社会后会变成怎样的人。

我今天的希望 是我们能以一种 更有同情心的态度 讨论我们该如何对待被关押人员, 我们会放弃 那种把他们锁起来然后扔掉钥匙的态度, 因为这种态度已被证明毫无用处。

我的经历是独特的, 但它本可以有其他的变化。 每个人都可以改变, 只要我们给他们足够的空间。 所以今天我所请求的, 是你们对未来的预想, 想象有一个世界, 所有人对自己的过去都没有敌意, 我们犯的错误和罪行 都不能定义我们余下的一生。 我想,我们可以一起创造这个未来, 并且我希望,你也是这么想的。谢谢。

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